Dealing with betrayal and the two ingredients needed

When I work with couples and one of them has cheated it is typically the ultimate betrayal and difficult to recover from. Two ingredients are needed to be able to recover from this. For one the person who has been cheated on needs to be willing to forgive. This is often a real journey in itself which may need individual counselling in terms of really looking inwards and reflecting on if they can and in fact even want to trust again. The second part is for what I call the walking over broken glass of the other person.

It's here whereas an upping of the ante so to speak really needs to occur. Not just the words but the real actions of I'm sorry constantly taking place. It is this person who has burned the bridge of trust so they must take the real initiative to fix in so the other party is able to really see and most importantly feel it.

Adult requests from the party who has betrayed on will likely get larger and it's here that the person who has done the betraying again needs to truly show up to a higher level. I've had clients for example request to be able to see their phone or have general access to it. Whereas this may not be the usual day to day thing to do things like this are often more of a part of the walking over the broken glass experience.

If this is something you are working on in your relationship I can help you with this and perhaps we can build the bridges again together. Feel free to reach out.